I have created a challenge for myself. Or rather, copied the challenge of someone else. Which I’m ok with, because imitation is the highest form of flattery. The challenge is to write for 30 minutes, every day, and post what I write. It sounds so simple, so easy. The entire point of it is to force out the words, and make it hard to go back and painstakingly edit everything that was written. Great in theory. In practice, it’s maddeningly frustrating.
I am so easily derailed. My focus gets interrupted, I start to doubt everything that I am writing, or I wander off topic completely. And then I look at the clock. Oh, look at how much time I’ve managed to waste. What was I doing the last five minutes? How can I salvage this? THIS CAN’T BE SALVAGED!
Then, as always, it becomes a race to perfection. A race that I know I won’t win. And every time, I wonder, why am I doing this to myself? Why am I beating myself up over something that was originally intended to be a great exercise in writing, and turning it into a way to find and criticize my shortcomings?
It’s helpful to remind myself that this post won’t matter in a year. It won’t matter in six months. It probably won’t even matter tomorrow. Which is good. It takes the pressure off. Sometimes I worry so much about falling short that I fail to try at all. Or I set goals that are too easy because they are clearly attainable. But, like I mentioned in another post, done is better than perfect. So I am going to continue rambling on, and at some point, I bet I come up with at least one awesome piece. Or at least a better one. And even if I don’t, no one can say it was for lack of trying. And failing. Repeatedly.
Do you have a problem with perfectionism? What helped you kick the habit?